and you said cock pushups were impossible
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
