I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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