guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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