My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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