Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
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Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
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I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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