She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
