I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize