I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
