My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
