everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
