wanna go halves on a baby?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
