so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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