PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
