Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You are a genius and a whore.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
