my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize