how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
