Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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