I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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