he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
