There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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