can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...