Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(309): View more from Illinois

I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth

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(586): View more from Michigan

I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.

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(301): View more from Maryland

She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.

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(913): View more from Kansas

It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead

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(734): View more from Michigan

The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?

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(585): View more from New York

Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$

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