i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello