Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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