Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
