I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
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Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize