btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
