she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
