I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
