he shaved USA in his pubs
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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