I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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