pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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