Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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