My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
