i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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