every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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