No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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