i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize