I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
