I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
