She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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