SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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