i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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