You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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