Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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