She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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