oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
