Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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