Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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