Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize