I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
