FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
