I'm going to jail i love you
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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