come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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