can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
