I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
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