Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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