dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize