I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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