Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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