he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize