Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
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she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
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At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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