Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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