12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
